I Just Want to Know if This is Cool Before I Post it?

I was informed over the weekend that my last two posts were really funny...well this one almost wasn't.  If I had posted on Tuesday morning like I had been planning it would have resembled something closer to a "Who shot Kennedy?" witch-hunt.  But lets not go there.  All I will say is that I can assure you this is Joe, not someone taking advantage of me forgetting to log off.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I also wish to assure you that the world is not coming to an end.  Yes, St. John's did lose their homecoming football game to St. Thomas, but last nights Twins loss proves to us that all is still right in the world.  Apparently now we know how the Tommies feel....seriously, some guy came up to me a few of my friends after the game and said "now you know how we feel" (talk to me in 2023...if we haven't won a game against you guys by that time THEN we will know how you feel).  What we should have said was, "oh yeah, well our guys kicked your ass in cross country yesterday" (that would have put him in his place!)  Back in the world of reality, the Twins lost yet another playoff game.  I understand that Liriano wasn't pitching a no hitter, but I don't think the atmosphere in Minneapolis was quite the same way it was in Philadelphia.  That's what sets Yankee and Philly fans apart from Twins and Rays fans.  Once the Twins lost the lead the entire stadium starts thinking "here we go again".  The fans at every home game in New York or Philadelphia will be absolutely insane the entire game, unlike at Target Field where the place goes dead quite when the situation starts to look grim.  We got too comfortable.  5.2 solid innings and then Liriano blows it.  Game tied at 4 and then Crain blows it (in between innings I am to drafting a death threat to Ron Gardenhire in the event that Jose Mijares faces more than one batter).  So now its time to call in the big guns.  I have been very open about the fact that the Twins can only be successful when their fans are distracted, and not paying close attention to how well they are playing.  Yesterday they were provided with possibly the best distraction possible, the return of Randy Moss to the Vikings.  Well that didn't even last 2/3rds of the game.  So here is what I suggest....Randy, (who knows, he could be reading this) I know it is pretty short notice, but you have to have some big connections.  I'm sure you know the right people...the only way to provide a great enough distraction for the Twins fans is if you actually attend each home game.  Front row, right behind first base.  You and whatever super model Joe Mauer is dating can be like our Jay-Z and Kate Hudson (she was A-Rod's girlfriend last year right?).  Dear God Randy, the Vikings are beyond saving just please do whatever you can to help the Twins.

Ok, wishful thinking/sports fantasy aside....anyone who has read more than 2 of these things knows that this is normally the point at which I say something like "I'm still running a lot, and I still don't have a job".....guess what, that's exactly what is coming up.  So yeah, saying that I have no life pretty much goes with out saying.  Just thought I should get that out of the way real quickly and easily.  Also, I have already run more miles in 2010 through the end of September than I did through all of 2009.  350 some days is too far out to keep track of an exact number of days, but yeah....you can expect me to spend the majority of 2011 building up for the Twin Cities Marathon.  Last Friday morning I ran 10 miles in 61 minutes (after having only slept for 1 hour the night before...which I don't want to get into) and I finished feeling like I could have gone another 10 in around the same amount of time if my life depended on it.  So at least there was some little bit of a happy ending to 2010. 

Now the contents of these last two paragraphs really have me thinking.  Last fall I fairly clearly stated that I would give up the ability to ever play trumpet again in exchange for a Twins World Series win.  I would say the same thing this year, but at this point giving up any musical talent I have yet to waste wouldn't exactly be equivalent to selling my soul to the devil.  Sorry, won't give up running either.  First, I'm not good enough for it to be a fair trade, and secondly, I'd rather not be overweight again....ever.  So how about this...if I had to chose between A) getting a job now and a first round Twins exit OR B) going broke before I find work and a Twins World Series, I would probably pick the second.  Knowing my luck it will probably come true....see y'all at the homeless shelter!